My name na Ngozi, I dey 25 years and na my life story I wan yarn una so, make una cool down read, the tori go long sha.
E get one guy wey dem dey call John, wey I meet for bank, na security man for the bank wey I dey use. Me and him dey always gist wella, anytime wey I enter bank, and I dey find am small change sometimes. I been don dey reason wetin make fine bobo like am, wey sabi speak English dey do for bank as security man, I don think am tire, I kon decide to ask am…
Ngozi; wetin make bobo like you dey do security man for bank? Shey na better work you no get abi na wetin?”
John; my sister, no even go there, na so life be, this country tire me die. You believe say I graduate from unilag? I find work for 6 years, I no see anything, my family poor, no hope for me. As hunger wire me eh, no be clear eyes I use begin work as security man for this bank o, the worse be say some staff wey dey work here sef, I get level pass dem for school”
Ngozi; you for join the bank staff na, instead of to dey do security man for dem. You just dey open and close gate for people wey no get the kain kpali wey you get for school”
John; nne, leave talk abeg. You sef know say na kpekus sure pass for this country. If say I get kpekus, I no go dey this level na. Women dey enjoy sha, anyhow e be, dem go survive am, na man dey suffer pass for this country. Abeg, give me your number, make we dey yarn sometimes, e don tey wey I wan collect your number, but I dey fear make you no change am for me, as I no reach your level, even your car sef na my entire generation house rent. If you report me now, e don be for me, dem go sack me for this my 10kobo work”
Ngozi; hian, why you dey talk like that na? I no be like that jare. No let my car deceive you o, I be free person, I dey take every body as the same, oya bring your phone make I give you my number”
As im gimme phone, I see say na one kpalasa phone im dey use, I manage input my number inside kon tell am to flash me. I no say im no go even get credit to call me, person wey never chop…
Ngozi; oya na, make I dey go, you fit call me anytime wey you like, but mostly for evening sha, cos of my work, you hear? Oya take this one take buy pure water for yourself”
John; chai, mama, thank you very much, my God go bless you scatter, thank you o, chai”
As I dey drive go back to work, I just dey reason John matter. The guy fine die, see height, im lips sef just dey invite me, this one wey e don reach one year wey I break up with that my mumu ex, my kpekus just dey cry for help. Conji don show me pepper, nothing wey I never try to use feed my kpekus, but e no work, shey no be to just kolobi this John so? Make the bobo gimme cucumber chop, before conji go give me high blood pressure, for this my young age. E be like na wetin I go do be that, but what if im get babe or im don marry? Wahala dey o, I need use style find out if im get babe, make I no just give myself hope for nothing.
No be say I no dey meet fine bobos or I no get colleagues wey fine, but those ones too dey show demselves jare, dem go dey form like say na dier papa get the whole world. E get one wey toast me sote, I say make I give am kpekus, as conji no let me get sense that time, the bobo sef dey form for knacking like say im dey do me favor. I dey use style dey push im head go down my kpekus make im suck, im dey do strong head, but im get guts to tell me to swallow im cucumber 🥒. Person wey no do me, open mouth say make I do am, me, Ngozi, chai, I don suffer sha. After that day eh, I just decide say make I dey use my fingers dey give my kpekus hope, until I meet man wey study kpekus ministration and as this John dey so, e be like say im graduate from there.
Make I talk more about myself. I dey work for one big company for lagos, my salary per month na close to 600k minus small small allowances wey I dey get here and there. I get one sister wey I senior, na only two of us my mama and papa born. Dat one dey live im life how im want am, since our papa and mama die. E get one boy wey she dey live with for port harcourt, I don beg am to come lagos dey live with me but she no gree, I no know wetin that boy put for cucumber wey dey burst her sense. Na our uncle train us for school finish, after my service end, e no hard me to get this work sef, all man wan gimme work, my shape set die, I dey see how people dey look me if I dey waka, I get sweet coca-cola shape, with fine face wey garnish am. I give my former boss quickie once take collect this job, after I start work, I give am quickie for office everyday, for like 8 months, take collect double promotions. From junior staff, to branch manager.
Make I do dey go house go call John, to know whether my kpekus go fit see food chop this weekend.
To be continued.